★★★★★ 4
As of July 2012 - 92% 4 & 5 star reviews
As of the time I am writing this review 368 out of 398 reviewers gave this book a 4 or 5 star rating - that's 92% "I liked it" and "I loved it" ratings. With these many positive reviews there are some critical reviews as well that are worth reading to get a balanced overall review - there may actually be more (and likely are more) than 5 love languages or categories. The author has a significant amount of knowledge and experience regarding married couples and it is certainly worth considering his input. What will make the information in this book the most beneficial is incorporating it with personal experience, and this subject will likely be a "work in progress" project with a focus on getting better everyday to result in a lasting, happy, and fulfilling marital arrangement.
My favorite review is "Learning to Speak, December 23, 2010" where the reviewer's review could have been a superb foreword for this book. May I suggest reading it as in my opinion it is brief, clear, and simple. If you have time consider reading the other reviews and comments too.
Of course, some may not agree or totally agree with this book's author; however, the subject of marriage is simple, yet complexed - and even compounding at times.
In my opinion this is one of the better books on this subject. There is some good material here making it worth considering reading it.
This book did stimulate my thinking on the different viewpoints in marriage and if you'd like to read my comments on this marriage subject contine, if not please feel free to move on. I am just hoping that some of these thoughts may help some considering marriage or who are already married.
Some believe that men and women basically use different parts of their brains. Often heard are: "The left brain thinks, the right brain feels." "The left brain analyzes, the right brain intuits." "The left brain is logical, the right brain is emotional." Likely, our thinking, feeling, and loving are more complex than these simple statements; yet, at least on occasion (likely more often) men and women think and feel differently and express themselves differently - the author of this book identifies, categorizes, and classifies love into five languages. I would add one additional language, which is the ability to sincerely and promptly say "I'm sorry" from one's heart. From my 45+ years of marriage and from what I have learned from many others, a successful, lasting, and happy marriage involves two great forgivers and apologizers. In my three and a half decades of managing people I have found that those who never or almost never say "I'm sorry" have difficulties with their working and personal relationships.
A husband and a wife differ to varying degrees about how they both think and feel about things, and this is in harmony with how the Creator said regarding Adam that He was going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him (not an identical twin of him - she was made different in a good way). A complement completes, perhaps making something just right. A husband and wife will benefit from loving each other, especially as the other person wants and needs to be loved.
Couple this with deep respect and you hold the two keys to a successful, lasting, and happy marriage and family life - Love and Respect.
Hopefully adding this thought will help your loving and respectful marriage grow more each and every day: "I love you more today than yesterday, but only half as much as tomorrow."
And one additional thought: "It is more beneficial for me to be respectful and loving in all that I do, than for me to be loved (something I very much want)."
Every marriage has the potential to be successful, lasting, and happy, especially using the two keys of "Love" and "Respect." Your marriage can be a most precious, valuable, and wonderful gift by using these two keys with sincerity and heartfelt caring; and, never let pride, the childish silent treatment, or other unloving disrespectful traits mar your treasured marriage!
A good "PRIDE" antidote expressed before the end of the day: "I'm sorry - I was mistaken - How can I make it up to you? - I'll do my best to be better - Will you please forgive me?"
A good "CHILDISH SILENT TREATMENT" antidote as soon as possible: Rescue the loving, caring, and respect adult within you. "Whining" and "I won't talk to you" are childish - they rarely worked in childhood and have no place among true adults. "Scolding" and "Lecturing" is easily blocked out. The best communications are loving, caring, and respectful adult expressions coupled with a big dose of attentive listening and understanding.
In ballroom dancing it has been said that "it takes two to tango," and "it takes one to lead." Many have found a successful, permanent, and happy marriage includes three - the loving husband, the respectful wife, and the Creator and Author of marriage (who perfectly knows what's best).
A good question to ask yourself at the beginning of each day: "What will I do today that shows I both love and respect my spouse?" TIP: While certainly one positive act or action daily is a good start, many are even better and will bring more benefits.
ADDITIONAL BENEFICIAL READING: "One Minute for Myself [Yourself]: How to Manage Your Most Valuable Asset" by Spencer Johnson, MD - while it is good to have a great relationship with your spouse; it is essential to have a good relationship with yourself, especially if your goal is to love your neighbor as yourself. Keep in mind if this is one of your goals that your closest neighbor is your spouse. Good relationships with ourselves and others I believe is what our true success in life is all about. My thought is that one needs a good relationship with oneself first in order to have good relationships with others - and it is wise to pursue "self-respect" by being respectful of yourself and all others. I like the thought of "self-respect" rather than "self-esteem" because it is easily possible to think too much of oneself; better to just focus on being respectful, caring, loving, and having proper self-respect.
ADDENDUM: One of best ways to tell your spouse "I Love You" is to say "I love you just the way you are." The principle here is if you want to be accepted in any relationship you should give your acceptance first. How many of us really want someone to relentlessly badger us to change this or change that about ourselves. Change in itself can be difficult, but that is another subject to consider.
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Reviewed in the United States on July 11, 2012
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